What could not have not been is all I really have been but was exactly what I wasn't not thinking about.

I'm gonna try this again. It was a failed endeavor and I'm sure it's gonna stay that way but it's an early weekend morning and I've spent the last few hours asking the uberLAN (yes, I mean the internet) what happened to Gordo and Miranda (and to a certain extent, Aaron Carter). Maybe I miss grade school. Maybe I miss high school. Maybe I just can't sleep, whatever. I just need to try to do something. I don't feel bad. I actually think I'm in a pretty good place right now. I mess up from time to time but it always (somehow) works out. All apples in the end - and I don't hate apples.

I do feel tired though. I've gotten bored. No longer do I find pleasure in the challenge of academics. I'm in college now, and It feels exactly like high school. I love Pisay and I thank it for a lot of things but right now I'm just in that mood where you tend to think you could have made better life choices. Gah. High school took all the jazz out of college. Now all that's left is Justin Beiber.

Should I do something new? I find that as long as it's not particularly life threatening, I tend to enjoy "new". Then I get bored and get "newer". Maybe I should buy a video cam? I can make movies. Or get Blender and try animation. Maybe I should try a new sport. Maybe.

I'm in between indifference and apathy. I go around with my moral compass which I've developed with almost 19 years of church, bible study, and my personal relationship with Jesus but I'm also an academic who scrutinizes and waves the flag semantics and definition. (When I finish making this, I'm going to make a flag that says semantics and definition) I don't have all the answers. God made me that way. So when I need one I don't have I just go plan B and throw some "right-wing" excuse. It's not that I don't believe in what I say 'coz I do. It's just that sometimes I feel like a coward. Then I start to think about grade school when a lot of things didn't matter and I had the most awesome set of friends. I'm still awesome with some, not so awesome with some and fell out with some. It's why I started looking for Gordo and Miranda. Maybe what I want is a "best" friend, but I already have that. Maybe I want church friends again since things are a lot less complicated in church. Maybe, God forbid, I even want a girlfriend. I am such a teenager!

Still, many are the plans, right? God will come though. It's what he does. I just wish I never felt like having to look for Gordo and Miranda. Gordo and Miranda. I swear, there's something else here - something subconscious. Gordo and Miranda.

-italktocarrotsticks


P.S. About Gordo and Miranda, Gordo's doing indie and Miranda's in a band. Also, Crystal Meth? Really?

Blogging is not very easy to keep up

It takes effort to keep up a blog. Especially if your as unmotivated as I am. I don't know if I chose to be unmotivated but I don't think it matters. See what I mean? Anyway, all for the ComSci!

-italktocarrotsticks

P.S. When I started this blog, I planned to change names and places with food and kitchen utensils and stuff. So yeah, I wonder what happened to that?

Thanks Guys

I'd just like to say thank you to a bunch of people who helped me out today. I sprained my left ankle in a game of dodgeball so yeah, so much for that. If it wern't for the help I got I wouldn't have been able to move. Thanks Izo, for helping me get up right after the bad landing in our game. Thanks you the Ryan, Nate, Jeff, Cudia and Gian for making sure I was alright. Thanks you Gaby and Kristina for the crutches. Thanks you Franco and Cueto for carrying my stuff when I was on crutches. Thanks you King for always bugging me to go to the clinic (even if I didn't listen). Thanks guys.

-italktocarrotsticks

I'm Back

Finally, after the longest time I like chemistry again. The whole organic chemistry nomenclature is like a complicated board game. Hydrocarbons and double bonds, Isomers and functional groups. It's a simple set of rules with so much you can do. The best part is I don't need to memorize formulas, or at least not yet. I feel pretty confident about the long test tommorrow. I hope confidence isn't all I'm good at.

On another note, today was Nathan's birthday. Happy birthday Nate! Sorry The Dunkin' Donuts Gian and I bought didn't even come close to the Krispy Kreme. We'll make it up with love and friendship. Haha.

-italktocarrotsticks

Water Rockets

Today we had probably the best problem based physics class since the year started. We tested our water rockets today. Our rocket went really high, Haha. Joel is some kind of handyman expert or something. We also had fun getting wet and stuff.

We had more of the japanese movies today. All of them were really slow like the last ones. They made me think though. There was this one movie where Mt. Fuji was erupting. Everyone was escaping cox there were nuclear power plants near Fuji. Then there was a scene with a family and a business guy. They have a complicated conversation on the stupidity of humanity then they all die. Great movie.

-italktocarrotsticks

Blogging...

... is not as easy as it looks. At least that's what I first thought. To have to come up with something good everytime is not easy - at least not for me. Let's see. I went to school today after a night of not being able to sleep right away. After which I went to class. After the morning stuff I had lunch and my lunch friends and I began to have a very lively HSM 3 conversation. There was watching of a bunch of japanese short films during english. They we're apparently by some really good director. Think of the best japanese director and there's a good chance that that was him. Anyway, the movies were really slow. I mean really, really slow. There was one movie where a kid was watching a parade he wasn't supposed to watch. Usually the bulk of stuff ur not supposed to do movies is the part where he lives the consequences of doing what he wasn't suposed to do. In the movie, however, the bulk was the kid watching the parade. The whole movie was about 15 min and the kid watching parade thing was like 12 min. It was that slow. Ok, that's enough for a good blog entry.

-italktocarrotsticks

OK, This is it

Okay. I'm taking my studies seriously now. No more cramming. No more procrastination. I should at least try to get good grades.

/sigh

I need some kind of accountability buddy or something.

-italktocarrotsticks