My Sister is Awesome

Written by: Regina Mora and Kathleen Ferrer

Conclusion.

During the course of writing this paper, we have realized that Lord of the Flies is such a boring book, despite the numerous awards it has received. Animal Farm is not much of a page-turner either. However, because of the very valid and interesting symbolisms in both books, we would still like for the authors to put their ideas into writing. With that said, we strongly suggest Golding and Orwell to write really nice and substantially long essays stating their thoughts. This will avoid confusion when interpreting the story and save valuable time for junior highschool students who plan to use their literature as study materials.

We would also like to question the need for a literary analysis in our lives as adults. Aside from a career in education, we see no legitimate use for such time-wasting papers. We would now like to require the reader to write his or her thoughts on the importance of a paper like this in no less than eight pages, just to see if he or she can find the importance of such a waste. Also, we require notecards and bibliocards to be made, citing sources. If these sources are his or her own thoughts, we would like for the part of the brain responsible for the thought to be written down in the biblio card. We will take a CT scan after the passing of this paper to see if he or she is telling the truth. Otherwise, we will issue a very scary-looking piece of paper recognizing his or her plagiarism.

Everything is to be submitted no less than a week after reading the said paper. Each page and notecard must be framed. If the reader fails to comply, he/she will be given a 30% deduction for not following instructions. Also, attached should be the payment for the CT scans. Otherwise, we will assume the thoughts of the author false and fallacious.

A bag or a very sturdy sack should also be provided for the framed notecards and bibliocards unless the reader insists on carrying these things themselves. We will also be requiring a late fee and checking fee, if the reader submits late or is very unpleasant and we deeply feel that checking his or her paper would just be a waste of time because he or she is a stupidhead. Please refrain from being a stupidhead.

We do not feel the need to end this paper with a restatement of our thesis statement because it is capitalized and centered on the top part of the cover page of this paper. The reader could easily flip back to the said page if ever he/she has failed to remember it. If, however, the reader is incapable of reading or blind, then he/she should stop trying to understand this paper and do something productive with their handicapped lives. This applies to the other details of the paper.

-italktocarrotsticks

P.S. That first sentence: GOLD.

Vow of Passive Agression

Please raise your right hand:

I ________ vow that from this moment on, and on all things, will I take a stance of passive aggression. I will be mildly insulting and vaguely threatening. I will procrastinate. I will not be punctual. I will limit my conversational repertoire to deadpan humor and will prefer tactless, contextually humorous post-it notes over direct, personal confrontation. In the event that I find it necessary to perform an act of true aggression, I will inform all concerned parties of my intentions with a well-written memorandum printed out in comic sans.

Congratulations new brothers and sisters!

-italktocarrotsticks

P.S. was supposed to write a speech for a communications class. Did this instead. You think I-

Development

Strange thing happened yesterday. Long story short: there is now a very substantial chance that I will loose my scholarship. It's not that I've been getting bad grades. My academic performance so far has been uh... par. It's always been par (well, maybe more of the middle of the leading bell curve). I've never failed horribly but I've never really been academically outstanding. And I've been a scholar since I started high school.

I'm not worried about my education though. My parents are perfectly capable of paying for my education. And my God is a god who can and will provide all my needs according to his riches and glory. Why am I so annoyed about this then? It's probably because the bulk of my self esteem has come from the fact that I was some sort of achieved academic. The rest of it came from the fact that I actually don't mind talking in front of people. If I loose my scholarship now, it'll be like I'm starting from square one. I know it's stupid but when was ego ever not? I'll have to start working on that. (my ego, I mean)

My current situation has shed light on myself and allowed me to finally see that I have indeed lost practically all good aspects of my work ethic. No, scratch that, I've never had a serious work ethic. I've coasted since I started school 13 years ago. It's time to change. And although I've said this at many times before and failed keep my word, I can say with all certainty that I'm about 10% more certain than I've been before. (give or take 10%) So with that in mind I know announce my plan for me next few years of college.

PLAN

1. Get a grade of 1.75 in math 53 by the end of this semester.
2. Pass all my subjects this semester and in all semesters in the following years.
3. Pass all my tests in all semesters following this one.
4. Get into the Engineering Registration committee.
5. Get a service part time job (most likely food service) in my second year of college.
6. Run for any facet of public office in my third and maybe fourth years of college.

Disclaimer:
This document is in no way legally binding.

If you've noticed, I've put nothing about maintaining my scholarship. That's because I'm having second thoughts about government scholarships. I've always had second thoughts about it. Affiliation is almost always cons over pros but so far I think I can live with or without it. This is my resolution. From this moment on, may I be judged (fairly, or with a slight positive bias) by my actions.

-italktocarrotsticks

P.S. To those who might know me and by some miracle are reading this: yes, I deactivated my Facebook account.

Mary Mary Magdalene

Mary Mary Magdalene
The one who came first was never my queen
Though she be in love with me
I love you

Very merry Magdalene
Please quench my thirst with a sip of you
Your lips taste like morning dew
I love you

CHORUS
You shine like a star
Oh, so bright but oh, so far
May your light never leave my view
Come to me and I'll run to you
Mary Mary Magdalene

I don't know if this is supposed to be Beatle's cryptic or Broadway-ish but there it is - my first song since tired rant. Made it in a few minutes, so it's not even arranged yet. Now all I need is to master an instrument so I can finally turn this into a song.

-italktocarrotsticks

P.S. In case you're wondering: No, the lyrics means nothing. Okay, subconsciously they might mean something but I was probably just trying to rhyme. I swear I don't know any "Mary Mary Magdalene".

What could not have not been is all I really have been but was exactly what I wasn't not thinking about.

I'm gonna try this again. It was a failed endeavor and I'm sure it's gonna stay that way but it's an early weekend morning and I've spent the last few hours asking the uberLAN (yes, I mean the internet) what happened to Gordo and Miranda (and to a certain extent, Aaron Carter). Maybe I miss grade school. Maybe I miss high school. Maybe I just can't sleep, whatever. I just need to try to do something. I don't feel bad. I actually think I'm in a pretty good place right now. I mess up from time to time but it always (somehow) works out. All apples in the end - and I don't hate apples.

I do feel tired though. I've gotten bored. No longer do I find pleasure in the challenge of academics. I'm in college now, and It feels exactly like high school. I love Pisay and I thank it for a lot of things but right now I'm just in that mood where you tend to think you could have made better life choices. Gah. High school took all the jazz out of college. Now all that's left is Justin Beiber.

Should I do something new? I find that as long as it's not particularly life threatening, I tend to enjoy "new". Then I get bored and get "newer". Maybe I should buy a video cam? I can make movies. Or get Blender and try animation. Maybe I should try a new sport. Maybe.

I'm in between indifference and apathy. I go around with my moral compass which I've developed with almost 19 years of church, bible study, and my personal relationship with Jesus but I'm also an academic who scrutinizes and waves the flag semantics and definition. (When I finish making this, I'm going to make a flag that says semantics and definition) I don't have all the answers. God made me that way. So when I need one I don't have I just go plan B and throw some "right-wing" excuse. It's not that I don't believe in what I say 'coz I do. It's just that sometimes I feel like a coward. Then I start to think about grade school when a lot of things didn't matter and I had the most awesome set of friends. I'm still awesome with some, not so awesome with some and fell out with some. It's why I started looking for Gordo and Miranda. Maybe what I want is a "best" friend, but I already have that. Maybe I want church friends again since things are a lot less complicated in church. Maybe, God forbid, I even want a girlfriend. I am such a teenager!

Still, many are the plans, right? God will come though. It's what he does. I just wish I never felt like having to look for Gordo and Miranda. Gordo and Miranda. I swear, there's something else here - something subconscious. Gordo and Miranda.

-italktocarrotsticks


P.S. About Gordo and Miranda, Gordo's doing indie and Miranda's in a band. Also, Crystal Meth? Really?