I'm gonna try this again. It was a failed endeavor and I'm sure it's gonna stay that way but it's an early weekend morning and I've spent the last few hours asking the uberLAN (yes, I mean the internet) what happened to Gordo and Miranda (and to a certain extent, Aaron Carter). Maybe I miss grade school. Maybe I miss high school. Maybe I just can't sleep, whatever. I just need to try to do something. I don't feel bad. I actually think I'm in a pretty good place right now. I mess up from time to time but it always (somehow) works out. All apples in the end - and I don't hate apples.
I do feel tired though. I've gotten bored. No longer do I find pleasure in the challenge of academics. I'm in college now, and It feels exactly like high school. I love Pisay and I thank it for a lot of things but right now I'm just in that mood where you tend to think you could have made better life choices. Gah. High school took all the jazz out of college. Now all that's left is Justin Beiber.
Should I do something new? I find that as long as it's not particularly life threatening, I tend to enjoy "new". Then I get bored and get "newer". Maybe I should buy a video cam? I can make movies. Or get Blender and try animation. Maybe I should try a new sport. Maybe.
I'm in between indifference and apathy. I go around with my moral compass which I've developed with almost 19 years of church, bible study, and my personal relationship with Jesus but I'm also an academic who scrutinizes and waves the flag semantics and definition. (When I finish making this, I'm going to make a flag that says semantics and definition) I don't have all the answers. God made me that way. So when I need one I don't have I just go plan B and throw some "right-wing" excuse. It's not that I don't believe in what I say 'coz I do. It's just that sometimes I feel like a coward. Then I start to think about grade school when a lot of things didn't matter and I had the most awesome set of friends. I'm still awesome with some, not so awesome with some and fell out with some. It's why I started looking for Gordo and Miranda. Maybe what I want is a "best" friend, but I already have that. Maybe I want church friends again since things are a lot less complicated in church. Maybe, God forbid, I even want a girlfriend. I am such a teenager!
Still, many are the plans, right? God will come though. It's what he does. I just wish I never felt like having to look for Gordo and Miranda. Gordo and Miranda. I swear, there's something else here - something subconscious. Gordo and Miranda.
-italktocarrotsticksI do feel tired though. I've gotten bored. No longer do I find pleasure in the challenge of academics. I'm in college now, and It feels exactly like high school. I love Pisay and I thank it for a lot of things but right now I'm just in that mood where you tend to think you could have made better life choices. Gah. High school took all the jazz out of college. Now all that's left is Justin Beiber.
Should I do something new? I find that as long as it's not particularly life threatening, I tend to enjoy "new". Then I get bored and get "newer". Maybe I should buy a video cam? I can make movies. Or get Blender and try animation. Maybe I should try a new sport. Maybe.
I'm in between indifference and apathy. I go around with my moral compass which I've developed with almost 19 years of church, bible study, and my personal relationship with Jesus but I'm also an academic who scrutinizes and waves the flag semantics and definition. (When I finish making this, I'm going to make a flag that says semantics and definition) I don't have all the answers. God made me that way. So when I need one I don't have I just go plan B and throw some "right-wing" excuse. It's not that I don't believe in what I say 'coz I do. It's just that sometimes I feel like a coward. Then I start to think about grade school when a lot of things didn't matter and I had the most awesome set of friends. I'm still awesome with some, not so awesome with some and fell out with some. It's why I started looking for Gordo and Miranda. Maybe what I want is a "best" friend, but I already have that. Maybe I want church friends again since things are a lot less complicated in church. Maybe, God forbid, I even want a girlfriend. I am such a teenager!
Still, many are the plans, right? God will come though. It's what he does. I just wish I never felt like having to look for Gordo and Miranda. Gordo and Miranda. I swear, there's something else here - something subconscious. Gordo and Miranda.
P.S. About Gordo and Miranda, Gordo's doing indie and Miranda's in a band. Also, Crystal Meth? Really?
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